Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness has long been a topic of interest and exploration in my life. In early mediation training I had the good fortune to have a college professor who was a bit unorthodox and taught the best class ever, even better than all the courses I took later in my Master of Arts, Conflict Analysis & Management degree. She was a lawyer turned mediator. In her course, Spiritual Aspects of Mediation: Integrating Body, Mind & Spirit, she taught us how to bring ourselves into a mediation. She taught us various techniques - shifting into different brainwave states, relaxed-alert state of consciousness, relaxing in the midst of fear, reading and learning from our own body, heart / mind connection, forgiveness process in service of unconditional love, etc.
The foundation of her teaching was that the most important factor in our work as mediators was our own self, how we showed up, our internal state. The cornerstone for my success as a mediator was this principle of how to bring myself into any mediation. For example, if I had some conflict with someone else, I would take the time to clear that (with her forgiveness process) before the mediation event, so that energy or situation would not effect the parties and their process negatively. When preparing for a mediation I would always use at least one of these tools to bring coherence in my own self. I could then guide and hold the space for the parties to work things through, whatever they needed for their process and their outcome.
Although I would like to say I am always proactive and perfect with this forgiveness practice in my personal daily experience, I am not. But I do keep coming back to it. It's a practice, not a perfection. Recent forgiveness work I have been doing has been key and I am grateful to have this practice she gave me 25 years ago. And I have and can guide this process in group sound journeys or 1:1's.
Dr. Joe Dispenza speaks of forgiveness as simply overcoming the emotion caused by thinking about your problem(s) that is turning on a stress response in the body; which in turn might be trapping you in a stress response that has become maladaptive (repeating pattern, body's addiction within the stress hormone response) and eventually creating dis-ease. "What is forgiveness... just overcoming the emotion. You finish the emotion and now you have the wisdom, because the memory without the emotional charge is called wisdom. When you overcome the emotion you no longer have your attention on that person or problem and it's all ok. Free the body from the chains of the past and it can become renewed again. Feeling gratitude, joy, inspired, in love - these are the emotions we want to condition our body to." And so it is.
It is often recognized that forgiveness of ourselves is paramount. Where have we made choices that were not in our best interest? How have we failed to honor our true yes’s and no’s? In what ways do we see indications of not valuing ourselves. when have we not listened to our intuition? In almost every case of forgiving others I can see where I also have the opportunity to forgive myself.
Forgiveness to me feels like simply a way to clean up your energy field. And to clean up the ‘felds of connection’ between you and another. Clearing the ‘noise’ out of the space around you and between you and others.
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